It's night again?

Well I didn't see any comments except from Kate who I guess doesn't think I am a cruel mom doing this series of cracking down on Liam. Yes, a timeline of the whole night makes it seem even worse, but this is a journal for me to see what my life was like back in the day when I had a 5 month old. History in the making... so I know it's not interesting and maybe it isn't right sometimes, but this is my record of things I am trying as a new mom. I just don't want to forget how this all went in the beginning. Since it is so fresh for me, it sounds as if I am a wimp who lost a little sleep and is overreacting. I fully admit I am a wimp. (I started admitting that in the delivery room! God bless you women who have done all that with no pain releif! Wow!) I admire all women who have 2-12 kids and have been sleep walking for years. It's just not my thing. I am not myself without sleep. Sleep and I were best friends and now we are so out of touch. It's interesting that nature requires us to sleep, but nature also takes sleep away from us when we give birth to a child. Why? (don't answer that)

New paragraph, new thought... The pacifier. Should we take it away at bedtime so he can sooth himself to sleep? That thing is a body part to him... if he loses it before he is in a DEEP sleep, he freaks out! Since he was 3 months old I have thought, "Yeah, he'll be able to put that thing back in his mouth pretty soon, we'll keep helping him until he can do it himself." Well 2 months later he isn't showing signs that he can find it and get it back in even 20% of the time. Putting-the-pacifier-back-in-own-mouth is not a text book landmark for babies, so how much longer should we wait and see? 2 more weeks or 2 more months? As menial as it is, it's frustrating to me.

I know every new mom is torn between many decisions as they raise their children. Tonight I feel so guilty about last night, that all I want to do is go take Liam out of the office and take him upstairs and carry on with the old routine. When he woke up this morning I felt like I had to overcompensate with being a super duper fun mom to him cuz I felt so bad for what I did to him last night. Like, "I am the disciplinarian, but I want to be your friend too... please like me, I am a cool fun mom, right?" I never thought I would have to think about this so early. It's dumb that I am thinking about it too because he is a 5 month old... he isn't going to remember all this! All I am trying to do is teach him how to sleep properly, but I am not experienced so like in the beginning of all things, you feel like a failure. Plus he really lights up for his daddy and I want him to look at me like that. I feel like I am just the food source... he doesn't even nurse for comfort like most babies do, so I really feel like I have to do more to win his affection. But I am too tired to be a super exciting mom to him. Where can I buy a 8hrs-of-rest pill?

Liam, I love you... I am doing my best. Hopefully I will be the most qualified mom when your memories start to stick.

Cracking Down Result 1

Okay, last night wasn't fun. I put him down at 9:30, he screamed until 10:30. Once I got the blog posted he was screaming again. I think he finally went to sleep at 11pm. I woke at 1am to screaming, but I didn't know how long it had been going on. I fed him at 1:30am. 3:45am came and Ian woke up to the screaming and said, "when did you feed him last?" I told him 1:30 and he then asked how long he'd been crying. I only heard him for about 10 minutes at that point, but wasn't sure if he'd been crying much longer and I barely woke to it 10 minutes earlier. I went down at 4am and returned him to his belly, putting the pacifier back in too. He slept until 5:40, I fed him at 6am. And what do you know, he slept until ALMOST 10am! I wore that kid out letting him scream so much in the night! He still needs to learn to sleep on his back... that is why he screams so much... rolls to the back and can't get to his belly again. Round II tonight...

Cracking Down

Well tonight is the night we start mean parenting. We went to Target tonight and bought a pack n' play so Liam could have a temporary crib downstairs in the office. Why put him in the office? Because Gina is tired, tired, tired of getting up every 2 to 4 hours with a restless baby boy. He has shown me he could handle 5 to 6 hours of sleep with no attention when he was on the brink of 3 months old. Then he got a cold, got spoiled and then kept his little "sick" schedule. So for 2 months I have been catering to him like this. He's a baby, I want to cater to him, but I know he can do better than this.

Right now he is downstairs sleeping by himself... he cried for an hour straight cuz he lost his pacifier (and we cheated and helped him out a few times getting it back in). Then about 10 minutes ago I helped him one last time and he immediately shut his eyes and fell asleep. PLUS he is sleeping on his back... which is not his normal position. But since any restlessness in his sleep rolls him to his back and he can't get back to his belly, he cries until you help him... and then proceeds to fight deep sleep and keeps rolling into that "trapped" position on his back. It's frustrating for him and it's frustrating for me too. Being the sleep deprived, working mom that I am... at times like these I give up and put him in bed with me so I can keep him stablized so he can fall back asleep without a feeding. It's just come to the point where I need my sleeping space all night long. And I know it's not good for them to get used to sleeping in bed with you (plus my mom gets huffy with me cuz "it's not safe" either).

So tonight is the beginning of a few torturous nights I am sure. Setting the alarm for the 2am feeding (if the screaming doesn't wake me up first) then letting him go until 7. Fair enough. Let's see how well this works... I am worried I will fall back into what has become the norm. Wish me luck! Night Night!

OH WAIT, there he goes again... poor kid.

Sick Day

Yesterday I went home early from work because from the moment I woke up, I felt nausiated and gross.

It got worse last night... it felt like the stomach flu on top of the nausea... ick! After making a few trips to the bathroom, I hit the hay at 9pm. Liam was a sweetheart and didn't wake up until 1am. When I went to pick him up and feed him, all the yuckiness that had subsided from laying down for a few hours came rushing back. I put him back in his crib when he was done eating and rested until he woke again at 4:30 to eat... same thing happened... I put him back to bed at 5 and wrote my boss an email.

I stayed home today, but after Ian left at 8, Liam woke again and I could barely lift him I was so weak... I started getting hot flashes. At 8:30 I started trying to call the babysitter to see if there was any way she could come and get Liam and take him back to her house... as I could barely stand, let alone pack him up and drive him somewhere. (I got her voice mail, DANG!)

My sweet mother-in-law called me and I asked her what I should do, who I could call? She mentioned Ian's cousin who is in school and might be able to come help me with Liam while I stayed in bed. I called Ian at work and asked if he could make the call to his cousin for me. He said his day wasn't especially busy and would come home and take care of us. THANK GOODNESS!

Liam and I fell asleep and then Ian called... he had stopped by the grocery store to get me some chicken noodle soup and his truck wouldn't start. As sweet as that was, we already had soup here, so it seemed like a wasted trip. About a half hour later he got home and came upstairs to make sure I was okay. (Yes, he was able to get his truck started again.) He brought me water, gingerale, chicken noodle soup, AND TULIPS! He brought me flowers! How sweet is that?!

The rest of the day Ian took care of Liam and brought him to me when he needed to eat. Thanks to my husband, I was able to rest well today and start feeling better. I feel tons better this evening... I have a bit more energy and was able to give Liam some attention tonight before he went to bed. He is such a great baby... we are so blessed to have such a mild and sweet boy!

Good Times

We had a relaxing time in Idaho. Alli (who is 5) was sad to see Liam leave. She said that he would probably cry all the way home because he would miss her SO much! She held him and entertained him quite a bit during our stay. Here are some pictures of her dancing for Liam... which really made him laugh and smile Saturday night!


Liam woke up cooing this morning. He rolled on his back which woke him up (at 5:30am), so he just started talking... this is much sweeter for mom to wake up to instead of fussing. I changed him, fed him then layed him down with me in bed so he would be sure to go back to sleep rather than play in his crib and keep me awake the next 2 hours. After about 10 minutes of laying with me he finally gave up and went to sleep. We slept well... so well that we overslept! Whoops!

It was a productive day... At work and only at work...

When I got home from work we started defrosting hamburger to make dinner, but Ian brought home an Irish cookbook and once we started thumbing through that we decided sloppy joes was not what we wanted for dinner... so we opted for Chuck-A-Rama... The closest thing to homemade besides Cracker Barrel. Liam was in his evening grumpiness so it wasn't that fun eating at a buffet, taking turns entertaining him as we went back and forth getting food. Oh well, we got what we went for.

We hit K-Mart on the way home to buy some cereal for Liam and another chew toy for him too! Then Ian thought it would be a good idea to go up the street to look at Kia Sorentos... and I was thinking, "no thanks, we have a cranky kid and it's cold outside." So we ended up test driving an Isuzu Axiom at the Kia dealership. We liked it but we weren't in love with it so we went home and shopped online... deciding to go Land Rover shopping tomorrow night.

So I got nothing but one load of laundry done tonight... everything else waits to be done tomorrow... I am so tired!!!!!

Sleep well, Liam, mom needs some extra winks...

Driving to Idaho

We got off work a little early today so we could hit the road to Idaho. Liam was a doll and slept pretty much the whole way. We have been so excited to come up here and visit the T Family! We are looking forward to a relaxing weekend with our dear friends...
The T's used to live across the street from us, then abandoned us about 2 years ago. We would be at their house every night and now we try to see each other once a quarter. With friends like this, we'll never be out of touch!

My Boys

Another good day today... Liam was grumpy for dad while I was still at work, but they were making each other smile by the time Liam was getting ready for bed... I think Ian is Liam's favorite toy.

I'm betta now...

Last night was no better, but today was better... I guess venting like that really helps. Plus Robin called me first thing this morning to say, "I understand" and that meant a lot right after rolling out of bed.

Anyway, I had a better attitude today and had a nice morning and evening with Liam.

Do Not Read - For Venting Purposes Only!

My day started too early. I am grumpy, going on 22 hours of grumpy... so grumpy I wish there was a cuss word for grumpy, cuz grumpy is a weak word today...

1am - child awakes with hunger
1:01am - child's mother feeds him
1:30am - feeding complete
1:31am - lay child in crib
1:32am - child's mother watches as the child moves about taking FOREVER to get "comfortable"
1:36am - child's mother lays down
1:38am - child has lost plugging device
1:39am - child's mother listens to child struggle
1:42am - child's mother helps put the plug back into child's mouth
1:43am - child's mother lays down and sleeps

2:30am - child's begins restlessness
2:31am - child's mother finds plug and inserts into child's mouth

3:30am - child's begins restlessness
3:31am - child's mother finds plug and inserts into child's mouth

5am - child's restlessness is actually hunger this time
5:02am - child's mother notices wretched smell
5:03am - child's mother takes diaper off and reaches for a new one while child cries. In the same moment child's mother feels warm wet drops of... Urine! URINE EVERYWHERE! Child's mother panics and covers source with new diaper, wasting new diaper... ugh...
5:04am - child's crying subsides and becomes fully awake with much to say about the shower he created. child's mother finds new sleeper and strips child of wet sleeper. New diaper, new sleeper, pile of laundry on floor on top of the puddle created. child's mother stomps pile to absorb puddle.
5:10am - child's mother sits on side of bed to begin feeding. child's mother realizes the quilt has a puddle too. child's mother moves to a dryer spot of the bed.
5:35am - feeding complete
5:36am - lay child in crib
5:37am - child's mother watches as the child moves about taking FOREVER to get "comfortable"
5:39am - child's mother lays down and sleeps

7am - child's father makes too much noise getting ready for work... child awakes
7:01am - child's mother yells for father to fetch child
7:02am - child and mother snooze in bed together
7:45am - child awakes and cries
7:48am - child opens his eyes and realizes everything is just fine looking at mother's gaze... daze... whatever
7:48am - child's mother picks him up and finds a puddle underneath him.
7:49am - child's mother covers puddle with burp cloth and fetches laptop to begin work day in bed/puddle... holding child... typing one handed...
8:30am - child falls asleep and child's mother's work is more productive

Who am I kidding... let me just finish the normal way...
I had a lot of work to accomplish this morning (before 11am) and Liam woke back up at 9am and had to lay and stare at me while I got my work done. Already frustrated with my lack of sleep and layers of baby fluids all over me, I began to feel really guilty that I was working with my child peircing me with his sweet eyes saying, "Shouldn't you be playing with me and making me laugh right now?"
"Yes, I should, Liam... I really should, but NO, mommy has to work instead of pay attention to your cuteness."
I wanted to cry... I wanted to call into work and instead of play with my sweetheart, I wanted to take him to the sitter anyways so I could SLEEP! (Which made me feel more guilty.) SLEEP remember sleep? Sleep should be uninterupted for preferably 7-8 hours between the hours of 11pm-7am.
5 months have passed without one solitary night like this for me. I know some people have it worse cuz they have twins, insomnia or night terrors, but I am WIPED! Today it all just hit me hard. And I didn't mention it's been 2 nights in a row that Liam has been up every hour starting at 1am.

I got to work 5 minutes late today... how lame is that when I have to be there at noon? For Pete's sake! But when you are trying to log 2 hours of work from 8am-11am with a child who needs attention... it's almost near impossible on a daily basis! I worked until 11:15am today and so that really threw me off. I hurried and ate lunch, packed the car, and got myself to look presentable all in 20 minutes. I got Liam in a clean diaper, fed him on one side and hurried and got him in the car seat and out the door! The only thing that went right today was that I was late enough out the door that I missed the noon bus that makes me wait in the middle of my own street as preschool brats pass me and wave and/or knock on my car window like I know them or something! Wow, I found something positive that happened today and that was only because I was late.

Work was basically one big HUGE project that had to be perfect and I was so nervous as I finished it cuz I was so sure something would be wrong with it (as I have been told recently that some of my work hasn't been up to par). So that ate my day when I thought another project assigned a few days ago was going to be finished today... NOPE. In the midst of that I give my hubby a call to say, "Try to keep Liam awake from 4pm-5:30pm so he will sleep better tonight." I think a 4pm nap may have something to do with him not sleeping better through the night. I get home to a screaming child and a frustrated dad... as if I wasn't frustrated when the day began at 1am.

I fed Liam and he was pretty cheerful the rest of the evening and fell asleep eating at 7:45pm. He woke only 30 minutes later and needed some snuggling... no problem, but please go back to sleep! He did and he is still doing so. We will see what the rest of the night brings.

Ah, how do people handle more than one child????????????? Mom, if you are reading this, I am still saying this is your only grandchild from us...

Gina's Home Office

Yes, I have a very sweet view at my home office.

Babysitter Round 2 & Liam the Inch Worm

We went out to the lobsterfest at Red Lobster with some friends last night and left Liam with our little 12 year old friend again. It wasn't hard at all this time. We had a really nice time with our friends and got our sitter home by 9pm.

She said Liam wouldn't go to sleep until 8 and he took a bottle right before that. I went to bed at 11 and then Liam woke at midnight for a feeding. I found him laying on his back!! When I last saw him, he was on his belly. This means he rolled over for the first time in his sleep and we missed it!!

I fed him on one side then changed his diaper so if he woke too much during the change, I could put him to sleep with the other half of the feeding. I changed his diaper with only the dimness of the night light on the opposite wall. I was half asleep too. I couldn't get his diaper off! I looked a little closer and realized our little friend had put his diaper on backwards! I laughed! I thought, "I know she has changed diapers before... what went wrong?" Anyway, he finished eating and fell asleep. I put him on his belly in his crib. Immediately he started crawling in his sleep to find a comfy position. He would bring his knees up and then straighten his legs, forming a triangle to push upwards... I watched for a few minutes and wondered why he started doing this on this particular night. At the 3:45am feeding, I found him not where I left him. His head was pointing in the opposite position I had layed him last. So weird. How did I not hear him struggling to move that much in his sleep? Thank goodness for crib bumper pads...

In my previous post I described Ian helping Liam stand and then landing him back on his butt over and over. I think this is where the crawling is stemming from. And this morning Liam would hike his feet underneath him and put his butt in the air (forming a triangle) and either roll over or push forward. Overnight this kid has learned how to roll over and sorta crawl... one week shy of 5 months old.

Glee

We finally got another good laugh out of Liam tonight. It's been 2 weeks since the last good one! Ian was pulling him to stand then plopping him back down on his butt. Liam just couldn't stop spitting, cooing and laughing with delight! Man, this kid is sweet! We just can't get enough moments like this!


Notice the spit all over Liam and all over Ian! We never thought spit would be so cute!

In other News...

Liam is starting to sit up almost by himself. He uses the Boppy pillow for a bit of support, but he isn't falling forward like he was 2 weeks ago. He is a strong kid, so we think by his 5 month mark he'll be sitting all by himself! He is growing too fast... but I am still excited for the day he sleeps through the night. Last night I hoped for at least 4 hours of sleep, well it was 3... I don't know what to do about it either. Books smooks... the author isn't here dealing with it in the middle of the night! I am going to lose my head one of these days if I don't get a full night's rest. I shouldn't complain since Liam is a dream baby in every other area... but ah the agony of interupted sleep going on 5 months... I know it could be a lot worse, I know, I know.

Oh and he has a new trick... he pulls his pacifier out and puts it back in. That is what he is trying to do here. He thinks he is pretty slick.

Long time no see... (Orion & Miss Purr Bug)

I thought it was about time people see photos of the Bengals. It's been since before Liam's birth that I have gotten any good shots of them on camera. I used to email pictures of them all the time, that is when they were the babies in the house. Ian takes care of them these days... they get next to nothing from me and they rarely ask for it now either. Oh well. I have more important things to do. I change the diapers and Ian changes the litter pan.

Not much to report

Liam was a doll today as usual. I actually was able to get a lot more work done than usual this morning. It's nice being home in the morning with Liam, but I never thought it would be so difficult to get 2-3 hours of office work done before Noon.

7-8am: get ready for the day.
8-11am: get 2 hours clocked, bath, feed, entertain and lull Liam to sleep.
11-11:40am: pack car, eat lunch, wake Liam, change him, offer him a snack and get out the door hopefully with make up on.
11:40-Noon: drop Liam at the sitter and floor it to work only 10 minutes away.
Noon-5pm: work my hiney off in the corporate office.
5:20-7:30pm: make dinner, entertain Liam, feed by both breast and spoon, then supervise exit to dreamland.
7:30-10ish: enjoy Ian's company, watch TV, clean kitchen, pack bags for a new day, write in blog... maybe feed Liam again.

Yeah, what a life! But it's good and we are happy and that is what counts! Now... I need to find a few minutes to do some exercise. It's sure not happening in the morning... maybe when he starts sleeping through the night... PLEASE sometime soon!
And now I must exit to dreamland... hopefully for at least 4 hours straight!

Finders Keepers?

Look what I caught Liam doing today. Lucky the camera was right there so I could sneak a picture. I have mixed feelings about him sucking his thumb, but he has only found it twice today and that was while I was changing his diaper. Maybe it's a fluke, but yesterday he was sucking his 2 middle fingers... cute, but again I don't know how I feel about it if he decides to do that all the time. Stay tuned...

Morning Baby & Protective Mom

Liam has proven to be just like his dad, a morning person! I never have been, but it is easier when you have a smiling, kicking and cooing child cheering you first thing!Last night we got a sitter and went to a play my friend, Kate, directed. "The Importance of Being Earnest" was a hilarious show and I am so glad we went. I was gripping the cell phone with white knuckles as I was so worried our 12 year old friend tending Liam would call with questions or a crisis. I was nervous the whole night and even on the ride home, just hoping nothing went wrong in our absence. Ian was as cool as a cucumber, but I couldn't get the knot out of my stomach. I opened the front door to a quiet house and a little young women reading a book on the couch. I said, "How did it go?" and she replied, "Just great!" (Sigh of releif! Ah everything is fine!) I asked if she would be willing to do this again sometime and she said yes. Taking the first step to leave your child for a few hours with a minor is soooo tough! I am so glad I survived it. She has proven to be very responsible! I knew she would, but when we handed Liam to her, he was half her size! I reassured myself that when I was 12 I was tending a family of 5 kids including a little baby... she could do this! Liam went to bed a few minutes after we left and never woke again... all she did was watch a movie then read a book. Peice of cake! Again I am so grateful for a mild baby.

After taking our friend home, I went upstairs and kissed Liam's sweet head. I about cried because I love him so much and felt so guilty for leaving him on a weekend when he should have ALL of my undivided attention. Knowing that he went to sleep minutes after we left didn't help me. When I am away from him, I feel as if I am going to miss an opportunity to comfort him. To my delight, at 11:30 he awoke for a feeding. I was so happy to see him and he smiled at us like saying, 'I knew you wouldn't be gone long!'

Liam in a girly outfit? No!

Well it's official... I am pretty sure my kid takes after his mom. Ian just scanned in some photos of me as a baby and brought them home on CD. Comparing with today's earlier post, you can see he's a spittin' image...

Say Cheese!

Or should we say "ham"? Liam likes the camera more & more! All I did was turn it on this morning and this is the reaction I got!

One Week New

Liam is learning how to eat this week. Last night Ian took a picture of him as he was nearing the end of his meal. He really likes practicing this eating thing, but I can never tell how much actually reaches his insides. Hopefully he learns to swallow better soon. What a mess! But what a lot of fun for all 3 of us! Liam watches us smile and laugh at him and we watch him react to us. It's quite the 15 minutes of entertainment each day!

Drooling Over Water Bottles

Liam was too cute this morning. First of all, he woke up without crying... just playing in his crib. I took him downstairs with me to get some breakfast and while I was down there I filled up ALL our empty water bottles. (Note I did this while holding Liam in my left arm.) Each time I picked up a bottle he would kick and get so excited! He wanted to touch and hold each and every one! It was the sweetest thing to ponder how much a small baby appreciates ANYTHING new put in front of him! I mean, really, when was the last time a water bottle excited you? Probably when you were about 4 months old.

Anyway, this reminded me of a certain Friends re-run when Alec Baldwin was guest starring. He played Pheobe's boyfriend at the time. Each and every site, smell, event, word, sound, etc. would elate him! He would go on and on about a new food or beautiful centerpeice, etc. He would even make something negative into a positive. As stupid as that grown man seemed to those around him, I now appreciate the fictional joy the show was portraying. Liam is that way. His take on life is all positive.

Liam's Birth Story

Liam's due date was November 6th, 2005. We just needed to get past November 1st as we had an October 31st deadline to hit on our supplemental insurance that we'd bought to pay for my maternity leave and hospital bills. (This maternity plan had to be in effect for 10 months before we could make a claim. We signed it December 31st hence the October 31st deadline.) I am explaining this because it played a VERY important role in our financial situation when the baby came.

On Friday, October 21st I was basically told to be on full bed rest. Liam's fluid levels were very low for a few weeks, but hit a new low at 5.5 on this day. I was very good taking it easy all weekend long (only going to Robin's baby shower that Saturday) so when I went back to the doctor on Monday morning (October 24th), I expected my fluid levels to be back up to the iffy 6-8s. No such luck. I think my level was 3.5 and the doctor panicked. He said he HAD to induce me NOW.

I was upset that I wasn't able to go to work. I called Ian and told him what was happening and then the doctor talked to him briefly to say we HAD to do it NOW. I knew Ian was going to freak out because we were a week away from being in the safe zone financially. I called my boss in tears saying I was having the baby "today or tomorrow" and he was really understanding. I was appreciative because I had another week's worth of work to get done and there wasn't an internet connection at the hospital so I could be productive with my laptop while we waited for the baby.

Anyway, I convinced the doctor to let me run home and pack my things and the baby's things. I called Robin from the doctor's office to have her meet me at the house and help me get the car seat in, etc. She was a doll and dropped everything to be with me. She even got a sitter for Tucker so she could go the hospital with me and get me checked in.

While I was home, it dawned on me that I didn't tell Ian about my detour. He was at the hospital wondering where I was! Then Ian's Dad calls right before I leave the house and says that I don't have to be induced (because induction is something I never wanted and we had talked about that previously), that it was our decision, not the doctor's. So that confused me more because I was pretty sure things weren't good enough to keep the baby inside any longer, but I was torn because Ian was so upset that we weren't hitting our deadline (and I was too). Ultimately, the plan was to get checked in and not let the nurses do anything to me until we got a final consultation with the doctor. We needed to understand completely so we could make the right decision. I was happy the nurses were respectful of my wishes. They gave us updates on when the doctor would come talk to us.

I think around 11am the doctor finally came in and gave us the scoops. My placenta was failing and it wasn't safe for Liam to be inside any longer. Plus, I was diagnosed with Preeclampsia (Toxemia) that morning with my protein levels and blood pressure out of control. (I had borderline Gestational Diabetes diagnosed when I was 30 weeks along.) So things just weren't in our favor (me or Liam). It was time to make things happen and we had a better understanding of why at this point.

We waited around for the nurses to give me the cervical priming device until 2pm... that had to be in for 12 hours, then they would induce me at 2am with pitocin. 12 hours with nothing to do... I wished so much that I had an internet connection. Ian went back to work for a little while (his work was only 4 blocks away). I made phone calls and watched TV.

I had minimal cramping and then 2am finally came. The nurse took the device out and my water broke (what little of it there was). They started the pitocin and slowly things started happening. By 4:30am I was asking the nurses if I was a wimp if I requested relief this early. They of course were really supportive and said I could do anything I wanted. I finally gave in and the epidural was administered at 5am. I sent Ian home to get some rest because I honestly thought my labor would last long into the day and evening (and I also thought I would get some rest if I didn't feel a thing). Well, my epidural only worked on my right side and I was in horrible pain all by my lonesome. At 6 or 6:30am I broke down and called Verena because she's had 2 babies all natural so I knew she could calm me down. That she did. I stayed on the phone with her for 30 minutes. She used the Bradley methods to keep me calm and focused. I got off the phone when the anesthesiologist finally came to my rescue.

I could still feel a lot, but it was much easier to handle... (I am not even going to explain the pain caused by the catheter)... 7:15am I start to feel like the baby was coming (intense pain). The nurse checks me and I am at a 6. I call Ian and let him know to get there soon. He says he is going to take a shower and be on his way. No problem. The pain and pressure got tons worse and I went crazy, almost hyperventilating, I didn't know what to do with myself! The nurse was telling me to breath and calm down, but I just couldn't get control. At 7:35am I feel the baby move down, way down, like he was coming all my himself! I was scared to death and pushed my call button and started yelling for help! It hurt so bad and I really thought the baby was coming on his own. Andrea, my wonderful nurse, rushed in and checked me. I was at a 10. A 10!!! They were calling the crew and the doctor to start the pushing, delivery, everything without my husband!!! I called Ian on the cell and said he was only a few minutes away. He walked in only a few minutes before the doctor and announced he broke a few laws to get himself there as fast as he could! I was relieved he made it in time.

Andrea said it was time to push and I refused to start that process without more pain relief. I seriously thought I was feeling EVERYTHING. I now know it was a fraction, but it was too much. I don't know who, but God bless the person who administered a bolus of the epidural into the IV. Immediate relief! The pushing began. I could feel enough down there to know when to push and tell the nurse when to start counting. 45 minutes later, Liam was born.

6lbs, 4oz. He didn't cry, just grunted. The Respiratory Therapist worked with him to get the fluid out of his lungs for about 45 minutes. I did get to hold my new baby for a tiny minute before Ian accompanied him with the therapist to the nursery. He was perfectly healthy and I was so pleased that I actually gave birth as perfectly as it was intended to be (plus the epidural). I was so worried he would be delivered by c-section. I was grateful then and I am so grateful today that my baby is healthy and strong. What a miracle conception, pregnancy, birth and each new day is. Liam is a marvel and I am so blessed he is mine.

P.S. We were advised to make the insurance claim even though Liam was early. We got the money and I was able to stay home for 2 months!!!

4 month check up

Well Liam had his 4 month check up at the Pediatrician on Friday. He is 15 lbs 14 oz and 25 inches long. He was in the 75th percentile for everything but his head which was in the 35th percentile. Dr. Wynn is a really sweet doctor who bounces in and always says, "You are doing Grrreat, You Guys!" It's cute how he says it each and every time we see him.
Liam had another 4 shots in his legs and he only cried for about 20 seconds. He did well the rest of the day, sleeping a lot.

Giving up Dairy was so Worth it!

I just called, Shari, Liam's main babysitter. I asked how things are going and if Liam was behaving. She said, "he is a saint!" I guess he slept from 12:30 to almost 2:30 and now he is happily eating. She is impressed with how well mannered he is. It's rare that he throws any sort of fit. And if he does there is good reason. I am sooooo grateful for such a mild baby!!!

Mr. Mom

After work Ian suggested we go to TGI Fridays for dinner. Sounded good to me. So we got Liam fed and drove over to Fridays. I got a chicken dish and while I was cutting into my chicken I found a nicely placed black hair. Gross. So I sent the food back and by the time my new dish came out, Ian was finished eating his jalapeno fajitas. He held Liam and entertained him while I ate... I appreciate any meal that I don't have to eat one handed.

We then hit the grocery store on the way home to get some slow cooker bags so we have less clean up each day as we only have one crock pot... and while we were there we got Liam some soft teething rings to chew on as Ian was worried that all those hard plastic toys were ruining his gums.

Then we get home and I get a phone call. It was Liam's bedtime so he started talking up a storm and I couldn't hear the person on the other end of the phone, so I went in another room to continue my conversation (as cute at Liam's chatter was). A couple minutes later, I came out from closed doors when I heard Ian had taken Liam upstairs apparently since he was so loud. But no, he hurried back down with Liam on his shoulder, all changed and in his PJ's and made a b-line for the oven removing a sheet of cookies. Now if that isn't a picture of a Mr. Mom, I don't know what is! What a sweet husband!

Sweet Rose

Today I walked Liam over to Rose's house as she is tending him this week and only lives across the street from us. (Rose is probably in her 70's and has been a widow for 30 years.) Liam had his shots this morning, and I had forgotten to give him Tylenol, so I ran home and brought it back to give him. When I got back (only 5 minutes later), Liam was in an older baby swing. I was tickled pink! Rose went to D.I. and bought our baby a swing! I don't know who spoils him more, us or Rose! She also bought the Primary songs on CD for him and plays those songs every time he is there. She dotes on him, but let me tell you, Liam dotes on Rose as well. He lights up when I hand him to her (every time).

Liam's First Laugh

Yesterday Ian called me and was so excited to tell me that Liam was laughing. He made him laugh 3 times while I was on the phone! That was the cutest giggle I have EVER heard. We have been waiting 4 long months for this! He has always gotten so excited and one burst of joy would come out in a scream, but not a laugh, not a giggle like this!