I always knew I would be a mother. I wondered what my children would look like, what their quirks would be and who they might become in my care. The millions of things a prospective mother does to prepare herself for raising a child is no guarantee that she'll be successful as a parent. That simple fact made me nervous before you were born. I've since learned that each child is even more unique than I ever thought possible.
The fact is, you are special. Beyond unique. Your personality is more electric than I can handle sometimes. Really, you are just too good to be true! No book or any personal preparation could have clued me into the complete happiness you bring me. That motherhood is really all about gut instincts, not pre-learned skills. Now that I have you, I'm not nervous anymore. Your will to do good things will see you through to wise decisions, safe environments and loyal friends.
This past month I've been made more aware of your love and appreciation of me. It's very rewarding and very humbling. It's one thing for me to know how much I love you and how my heart skips a beat for you each time you smile, giggle or learn something new. It's another thing altogether to KNOW you love me back... that you are just as tickled with me sometimes! I love spending time with you. I love that you want to sit on my lap, that you greet me with big grins and offer kisses and hugs when I really need them.
The past few weeks we've been implementing the word "please." From the first time you've said "peez" or "eez" and every time since then, I get a surge of pride and joy. Today we noticed you even ask yourself please before you take another cracker or pretzel out of your snack trap. Just so thoughtful!
This morning you proved yourself a jokester once again. You were sorting coins between the two cup holders in your chair. First you put the coin up to your lips and I could tell you expected me to react as I said the words, "No, you know better!" So you continued passing coins between the two containers, then without a coin in your hand, you put an imaginary coin in your mouth! I started laughing! After making sure you were joking of course. And you were! I love how funny you try to be! You take after your daddy that way. It goes to show how intelligent and clever you are. And at such a young age... It boggles my mind, boy!
You mimic what we do more often now. I was putting my head to the floor the other night to retrieve a toy from under the couch and you came beside me and touched your head to the floor to do the same thing. We looked so goofy with both our heads to the floor.
The other night Daddy and I were singing along to a CD in the car. I looked into your eyes and sang the chorus and you started singing along with us. It was a sweet family moment! I wanted to bottle it up.
Sometimes I get so emotional and wish I could slow your growth down. I am at the point in motherhood where I understand why folks choose to have more children. Taking part in your learning, language and manners is breathtaking! I knew this would be my responsibility, but I didn't know how grand of an effect it would have on my heart and soul. I've said it before, and I will say it again... that you are a marvel, Liam. It's evident that you are destined for greatness. I am so grateful to be playing a part in your path to excellence. Participating in your life has in turn made my life so full. Being your mother is an honor... an honor I am not sure I am worthy of some days.
Love you always,