Wednesday, October 25, 2006

My 200th Post!!!!

I can't think of something creative to do for my 200th post. (Nothing can beat the 100 things... cuz I certainly can't make a list of 200 things, no matter if it's about me, Liam or anything!) So the best I can come up with is a Halloween posting that will give you the creepy crawlies!

This is a story of a garter snake. In. My. House. Yes, last Saturday around noon, I was on the phone with my sweet mother-in-law explaining the whoas of our morning. I was sitting in the office/playroom watching Liam play with his toys as I chatted. I was sitting in a chair situated perfectly so I could see, across the room, across the dining/kitchen area directly to the kitty door that comes in from the garage. (Note the big garage door is cracked for them to come and go outdoors... see this post for another gruesome tale).

So I am chattering away. I suddenly see Miss Purr Bug barge through the kitty door. She isn't alone. She's brought prey with her. I am far enough away that I can't make out what it is. She continues to bat at it and tease it. It certainly isn't the daily grasshopper she decapitates. It's black. A big black thing.

I stand up. I walk to the threshold of the playroom. I walk past the dining table and stop dead in my tracks! It's a freakin' SNAKE! "OH MY GOSH, MOM! There is a snake in the house!!!!!", I squeal over the phone! "What do I do????" Mom says, "Grab that baby and get outta there!" I run upstairs with Liam.

Minutes later there is a knock at the door. I say good-bye to Mom so I can answer the door then call the neighbor to come rescue us (since Ian was out golfing). I didn't have pants on PLUS I was scared to go downstairs because of the snake. So I hurried and opened my bedroom window and yelled to whoever was at my door.

"Hello, I can't come to the door right now!"
I hear, "It's Jayme from next door."
I say, "Thank goodness! I was just about to call your hubby. Give me a second, I will be right down."

I put on some pants and slowly made my way down the stairs scoping out the flooring below. I managed to open the front door while still standing on the stairs. I explained to Jayme what was going on. She relayed that SHE was much more help to me than her husband as he is deathly afraid of snakes. So I put on some shoes and together we started scoping out the house for a black snake.

I moved the couch, looked under everything with a space above the floor, we even moved the fridge and oven. NOTHING. Though we about peed our pants when moving the fridge and a black pen reared it's ugly head. We seriously thought THAT was the snake for a whole milli-second. Whew, it took us a while to get our heart rates back to normal.

So yes, we found NO snake during our quest. Jayme went home. So while my appliances were moved out of their assigned spots, I told myself there was no snake. That Miss Purr Bug must have taken it back outside. Or maybe I was just seeing things... Maybe it was something else... my eyes aren't that great. It was a good 10 feet away from my eyes... whatever it was. I cleaned behind the fridge and under the oven. I moved the appliances back to their spots. I continued my day getting ready for Liam's birthday party (without shoes because there was no snake).

Fast forward about 6 hours.

La ti da... having a party... tons of company over... chatting away.... Liam playing with his mylar balloon near the kitty door.

I was standing near the dining table having a conversation. Suddenly I see movement in the corner of my eye. Is that a bug racing along the threshold of the garage door? I step closer to make sure so I can smash it with something. NOPE. Not smashable. IT'S A SNAKE! Slithering along the door (probably trying to escape our party).

Logic crosses my mind then leaves completely. I race towards the living room. (Yep, that's right... Liam is abandoned within feet of the snake.)
"Why, what?"
In my squealy panicked voice, "Come over here.... the snake!"

Ian and his brother, Drew, save the day and throw the snake into our back yard neighbor's yard. At some point I think somebody else rescued my darling child and he ended up in my arms by the time the boys came back inside. What was I thinking? I mean really? I spooked myself and most everyone in attendance. They were all baffled as to how a snake got in the house. Then Miss Purr Bug was outed and everyone understood as she blushed in embarrassment.

Fast forward to Monday afternoon.

So I was home from work all day on Monday. Around 4 pm Ian and I have a conversation about him bringing some take-out home from the Bamboo Hut. I get off the phone with him and continue to play with Liam upstairs. I see Liam is busy with a toy for moment so I go downstairs to put some dish towels away. I pivot at the bottom of the stairs to make my way to the kitchen. I stop dead in my tracks once again. You guessed it. That snake was back! The exact same disgusting black one! Right there in the threshold of the kitchen and living room. I watched it intently for a few moments. There was zero movement. I ran back upstairs and called Ian.
"How close are you?", I ask.
"I am turning the corner of our street right now."
"Okay, well guess what is sitting on the kitchen floor?"
"The snake?"
"Yep, so can you take care of that when you get here... we'll be upstairs until that is done."

So I came downstairs and sanitized the murder scene. Ian said it was still alive. ("AHHH", I thought to myself. "What is going to keep it outside this time?") After those thoughts crossed my mind without me verbalizing it, he said, "I took care of it and buried it. We shouldn't have any more problems."

So THAT is my true Halloween story for my 200th post. Know that it was a sacrifice to re-live these incidents. I have been itching like crazy between sentences here. I can't get the image of the coiled defensive reptile out of my head. That slithering S shape either! Yuck Yuck Yuck!

Happy Halloween!


P.S. Jayme's hubby didn't risk coming to the party because he had a strong feeling the snake was still in the house. And I know Jayme will never let me live it down that I left my child so close to the snake while I took flight to another location.


Mike said...

Wow, what a thing to happen to you. I'm glad I never had a snake in my house before. Glad it all turned out for you though. Oh, I enjoyed the slide shows of Liam also.

Angel Baby said...

Holy Cow, you are HILARIOUS!

Why not just pick the thing up and throw it outside? And I cannot believe that someone would turn down attending your dinner party because he suspected a snake was in your house. All for a snake!!


Ahem. Sorry. I don't mean to make light of your very serious scary Halloween situation/story. I mean, I can hardly believe Liam survived intact being within such close proximity to the terrible disgusting thing.

But what I really want to know: How big was it??

grandma -dixie said...

Fun story for your 200th post, I hate snakes they give me the creeps, I agree with you, I think its the way they move that creeps me out also. Fresh out of ideas on a new blod title, never heard of the book Brave new world. Have a great Halloween.

Anonymous said...

How about the King and I for your blog title. Since the blog is about you and your baby

Tori :) said...

I don't have an idea for your blog name at this moment. If I think if one I'll letcha know.
Is that picture the actual snake or what? Don't feel bad. When a bat was in our garage I slammed the kitchen door leaving 3 of my kids and a neighbors kid in the garage. I didn't want it to fly in the house...

Gina said...

It was a little over a foot long and about the width of my thumb. I still can't get over it.

longdistancegrandma said...

That reminds me of when your dad and I were dating. He came to my house and I was out back saving a litter of kittens from a large black and white snake (about 3'long). I tossed it away from the kittens and slammed it with the back of a shovel. Your dad was in awe. Once again you are similar to your dad. He hates snakes.

Kristen said...

Oh, YUCK! I think I would have to move. Seriously. That is horrible.

How about naming your blog, "The Snakes Lair"?! LOL!!

Kik said...

Eeewwww! That is so scary and gross! I would have reacted exactly like you did. Angel Baby's comment made me laugh:"Why not just pick the thing up and throw it outside?" HAHAHA! Like THAT'S not totally disgusting! I have never touched a snake in my life and I plan on keeping it that way. We would have been totally hopeless at my house--Adam hates snakes too. He would have gotten rid of it, but would have felt totally grossed out in the process.

I'm glad Ian "took care of" this spooky ordeal for you! Happy birthday, Liam!

Anonymous said...

SNAKE!!!!! (sounds of me running away lol)

Congrats on your 200th post. It's nice watching Liam grow up!

Thanks for dropping by my place.

Poopydigs said...

Ewww, you see, that would kill me. KILL ME.

Great storytelling. Love it!

Katie said...


How about "Brave New Boy" since Liam is growing out of babyhood and into boyhood.

Nettie said...

I now have the worse heebee jeebies. I actually think snakes are awesome as pets (They poop and need to be fed only about once a month), but a wild one. Yikes!

The Wooden Porch said...

That is really funny and creepy and weird and scary...