Tonight as we were teaming up to bring Liam off the peak of a drawn out meltdown, Ian noticed that Liam wasn't looking directly at him as he spoke.
He said, "Are you looking at my hair?"
Liam calmed a bit more and nodded. Then Ian went on about how he's losing his hair and asked if Liam thought Mommy would still love him if he was bald. Liam nodded as he looked at me and I smiled.
Then, to take advantage of the calm that was starting to happen, Ian said, "And did you know you have Mommy's eyes?" Liam argued and said that his eyes were the same color as Daddy's not Mommy's. So Ian went on to say they were the same oval shape and Liam agreed.
We finally were able to talk out why the meltdown started, explain his actions (and our actions) then clear the air with hugs and kisses.
Being three is hard. Being the parents of a three year old can be hard too. I am so grateful we stick together though. It would be a lot more difficult if the calm happened, but the resolution wasn't there. We are all learning.
8 comments:
I love those moments. Speaking three-year old is quite the learning experience.
It's also absolutely wonderful to have a spouse who can seize those moments too, and direct the resolution.
Way to go! You have lots of patience to deal with it so calmly and rationally.
When these meltdowns happen, there is no reversing it. You just have to see it through and then try to distract him with some other nonsense to get him off the ledge of insanity. At least it doesn't happen that often. I like how Ian listens to me about having to talk it all out as a family. He helps a lot because it's better that Liam gets a unified and loving explanation from both parents.
Last week we went on a walk to feed the horses. On the way back, Liam took off running way ahead of us. Ian called after him to stop because he saw a loose dog (that Liam didn't see). He got in big trouble for not listening. Luckily the dog wasn't dangerous, but it took us a long time to talk out our reasoning while he whimpered in time out. He has to trust us when we say stop or stay close. This principle has been a hard one to implement over the past year. He says he's sorry and thinks that should be the end of the conversation.
Yay for the calm! I've been telling Little Dude that he has to "look at me," when we are going through meltdowns or difficult moments, and sometimes, it seems to help - he'll focus on my face and then we can begin talking about what was happening that created a problem.
I love that he was looking at Ian's hair and Ian caught it.
Liam is a lucky boy to have great parents.
And those three year old meltdowns turn in to 13 year old meltdowns, not quite as calm for a while. :/
Like I said earlier, you are an amazing mom! It sounds like you are figuring this child thing out. It took me three to get where you are with just one. You are awesome.
Three's, in my mind, are much harder than two's...so hang in there! As they learn to reason and recognize their emotions, it is amazing to see their personalities bloom from all the patience you put in with them! You guys are doing a great job with Liam!
Gosh I would do anything to have redirection or distraction work with Noah. Once he's got his head set on a meltdown, there's nothing that stops him. No redirection, no sweet talk, no spankings, no time-outs, no nothing. The child is s-t-u-b-b-o-r-n. Ughgh.. and you say it continues into the threes? NOOOOOOO!
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